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    March 01

    first draft, third composition

    My wonderful future

       First draft, third composition

     

    Every people must have 3 times. It’s past  present   and  future. Past it’s the time before . We can’t back to the past  for repair the mistake. Present   it’s now we can do everything in this time. And future is time that we can’t to see.

    Now  I’m study in Mattayom 5. After that I successful in high school. I want to be study in Chiang Mai University in college of Arts Media and Technology. Because it is my self . In university I hope freedom life. I want to live in hostel with new friends. I want to meet a lot of new friends because I’m friendly. In university I want to have a bicycle for travel in side but I  like to have motorcycle to use out side university. At the time that  I study in university I want to do pastime job because I must use a lot of money. I need to do past time in magazine company.  I hope when I study in university I feel very happy. After that I successful  educations from  university. I want to work in industry and have my own business. It’s my own magazine in mini company. Finally  I want to have my small house I need it in the north of Thailand . I  don’t like big house but I like the small house it have beautiful garden. And very  important I need to take care and return to my parents give anything for them.

     The future is uncertainly because we can’t see it. If we want to have a good future. Now we must hard study ,diligent and get the correct way. I think we have the best       

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    pearwawrote:
    อันแรกมันผิดอ่ะนะ
     
     
    Response sheet : Personal Experlence Writing
     Writer  Banjamas Yeelangka
    responder  sasiporn  Intawan
    1. what did you like best about this paper ? What really well ?
    - I like your idea that you say about the future of communication.
     
    2. What questious would you ask the writer about things in this paper that were confusing or unclear to you ?
    - What do you mean about " under wat " please explain more ?
     
    3. where in the paper would you like more detail ? Where could the writer show instead of telling ?
    - You should add more details about idea for communication in the future be ?
     
    4. Rate each of following on scale from 1 to 4.4 is tops.
    1. Title      2                3. Ending     2
    2. Beginning    2.5
     
     
    5.For each item you score low, make a suggestion for improvement.
    -  Title, Beginning and Ending : quite good but you should add more detail.
    Mar. 2
    pearwawrote:
    Response sheet : Personal Experlence Writing
     Writer  Banjamas  Yee lungka
    responder  sasiporn  Intawan
    1. what did you like best about this paper ? What really well ?
    - I like everything.
     
    2. What questious would you ask the writer about things in this paper that were confusing or unclear to you ?
    - wheae are do you a pastime job ?
     
    3. where in the paper would you like more detail ? Where could the writer show instead of telling ?
    - what pastime do you want ?
     
    4. Rate each of following on scale from 1 to 4.4 is tops.
    1. Title      3                3. Ending     3
    2. Beginning    3.5
     
     
    5.For each item you score low, make a suggestion for improvement.
    -  All that's ok
    Mar. 2

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